The First Four Years.

I’ve had this blog for 4 years.

4 years ago I needed some help. I needed help to work through things and to channel some of my worries and fears.

June 2011 I experience a painful breakup. I was heartbroken, lost, and depressed. I was heading into my sophomore year of college and I was worried. I was worried about what life would be after I graduated, I worried if I making the best decision by being an English major (F YES), I worried about paying for school.

I also worried because I had struggled with depression on and off the past few years. I was concerned if I didn’t meet my goals or feel like I was doing the right thing I could slip into a dark hole. At that point I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get myself out of that hole.

My first post is hard for me to read now! I remember tearing up as I hit publish and ran from my computer. Tears from doing something scary and writing it all out on a public blog on the Internet. I felt better when I went back to my computer and saw a positive response from friends on Facebook.

I kept posting.

It helped me.

Through the posts I worked through my sadness, uncomfortable (and awkward) situations, and I shared a piece of myself with the Internets.  Through these last four years I’ve achieved many wonderful things. I graduated from St. Norbert College in December 2013 with a degree in English, found a job, and am going the marry one who infected me with love and happiness.

I achieved everything I was so worried about in that first blog post.

Now I have new challenges! Being a damn adult is hard work. The transition hasn’t always been easy, (I think I’ve only called home crying once or twice..) but I am here.

Now it’s time to start the next chapter!

What am I worried about?

I start to list out my worries in my mind and remember all I’ve achieved since my last list of worries.

I can do anything.

Stay tuned for the next four years.


The Secret to Running is Murder

Seriously! Hear me out..

B and I are training for the Door County Half Marathon on May 2nd. We started training in December and I need to be honest – it’s sucked! I felt like a moron trying to run. I started at 1 mile in December and took me a few weeks to get to 2 miles comfortably. 2 miles… I need to be able to run 13.1!

Also, running long distances can be kind of boring! Even just running a half hour was boring! I’d be tired from work, it’d be dark out, and super cold (like 4 degrees..). No amount of Backstreet Boys and Weeze could really get me going.

Side note: my iPod hasn’t been updated since 2012 and my iPhone is being a butt about getting my music on it. The iPhone has 3 songs. One of them is the second movement from Beethoven’s 2nd Symphony. Not bad but not exactly run run run music.

Ok, back on track. I decided I’d try to listen to a book. I listened to Saving CeCe Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman. Such a good idea! The time just flew by.

A few weeks ago I decided to download a podcast What You Missed in History Class. It was just great! I learned something and ran 4 miles.

Now, back to the murder motivation.

I heard about the podcast Serial and thought it sounded interesting. It’s a true story of a murder committed in 1999. The narrator Sarah Koenig narrates this trial with evidence, interviews, and speculation.  I just get sucked into the story. WHO REALLY DID IT!?

It’s so good! I turn on Serial and just go. I become engrossed in the story and forgot about the fact that my legs are burning.

Last Saturday, B and I ran the Serology 15k Valentine’s Day Run. Yep. 15k = 9.3 miles! I ran 9.3 miles in 1:41 so about a 10 minute 52 second pace. Not bad for a noob. I’ll take it!  13.1 here I come! I can totally do this!

B and I. Looking FIERCE.
B and I. Looking FIERCE.

So, If you want to get into running or need some motivation to during your run I highly recommend murder!




Enjoy the Purring Cat

There is currently a cat sitting in my lap trying to lick my face.

9lbs of love coming at me.

Earlier today, I walked in the door and my cat ran to the door. She’s always so excited when I get home. She runs to the door chirping with happiness and putts her front paws on my legs so I’ll pick her up.

Then I pick her up and she squawks while she licks my face.

While I drop my stuff and head to kitchen, she’s wrapping her legs around me purring.  I can’t resist picking her up again and hugging her.

Shortly, B will appear and we both drop everything (cat included) and run to each other like it’s been forever not just a day or so.

Later while we’re eating dinner, I blabber on about how I’m worried about not having enough money, or how I need to organize my apartment better, my student loan, or I’m going to need a new car soon… blah blah blahhh.

Can someone tell me to shut up?

I have wonderful B, an always purring kitty, a job, and just enough money.

If you want to know what love sounds like – listen to a purring cat.